‘We always hurt the ones we love’


Stress management

‘Why Do We Always Hurt the Ones We Love’ is a song, but unlike a country song when played backward, does not reverse out of those moments when we’ve said something we regret.  Pain is a drain.  When we feel pain, we feel a drain on our emotions, causing us to lash out.  Firing spontaneous expletives in an explosive expression communicates our primal fear and frustration. 

Communication is key –’The Caregiver’s Bill of Rights’ outlines eight important steps we can all apply to any nurturing relationship.  A retired Oncological Nurse recommends learning to develop what she refers to as “Healthy Boundaries”.  She also served as the primary caregiver for her husband of many years. This form of self-preservation is essential. ‘The Alzheimer’s Reading Room’ article “Tea and Empathy” suggests delegating and listening.  Recognize the signs and symptoms and delegate among family, neighbors and friends.  Most importantly, take care of yourself.  In a flight emergency we are instructed to put on our own oxygen mask first.  No one can begin to meet the needs of others until their own basic needs have been met.

Several of these links are directed to Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias, but caregiving is often treated as a perfunctory responsibility pertinent to any relationship, regardless of medical need.  It’s alright to ask for help, in fact, it’s encouraged!  Learn to take GOOD care and say you’re sorry when necessary.  I’m sorry, Mom, and I accept your apology, too.


Cooking with coconut oil


Coconut oil – Google image

Based on an article I originally published with Examiner.com, February 19, 2013, exploring the chemical properties of coconut oils for cooking purposes.  According to GreenMedInfo.com, additional research since purports how medium chain triglycerides (MCTs) in coconut oil can immediately enhance cognitive function in Alzheimer’s related dementias.  Multiple sources also contend introducing daily doses of both coconut oil and mild exercise to mitigate early onset Alzheimer’s and memory loss.

A client recently inquired about different coconut oils.  Sources range from India, Malaysia and the Philippines. There are multiple purposes in which coconut oils may be preferred.  Cooking with coconut oil requires some considerations so as to retain the nutrients it also offers.   As a vegetable oil alternative for cooking, the better quality oil retains its chemical properties.  Chemical constituents containing potential healing properties subject to heat degradation are the processed oils subject to “oxidative rancidity”.  Virgin coconut oil (VCO) has a higher phenolic content, therefore; preferred to refined, bleached and deodorized (RBD), categorized more favorably for its “high oxidative stability”. Cooking with coconut oil as an alternative to vegetable oils, hints a distinct, sweet flavor, suggestive of the fruit itself.

Coconut water and coconut milk are additional foods imbued with healthy rewards.  The cultural dishes prepared in these Asian countries have traditionally been designed for a flavorful, textural and healthful balance.  Continue reading ‘Alchemy of food’ for further information about how to incorporate coconut oil into foods appealing to YOU.